Tips on pumping Gas... Very intersting!!

ON PUMPING GAS

we're paying $3.53 a gallon for regular unleaded her in Washington. Here are some tips from someone working in petrolium..

I don't know what you guys are paying for gasoline.... but here in California we are also paying higher, up to $3.50 per gallon. But my line of work is in petroleum for about 31 years now, so here are

some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every gallon..

Here at the Kinder Morgan Pipeline where I work in San Jose , CA we deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period thru the pipeline. One day is diesel the next day is jet fuel, and gasoline, regular and premium grades. We have 34-storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000 gallons.

Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the gasoline, when it gets warmer gasoline expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your gallon is not exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role.

A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3)stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapors that are create ed while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapor return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some other liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapor. Those vapors are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.

One of the most important tips is to fill up when your gas tank is HALF FULL or HALF EMPTY. The reason for this is, the more gas you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. Gasoline evaporates faster than you can imagine. Gasoline storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the gas and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, here where I work, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every gallon is actually the exact amount.

Another reminder, if there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, DO NOT fill up--most likely the gasoline is being stirred up as the gas is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom. Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.

DO SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!

WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON

Gas rationing in the 80's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even be good for us! The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the favor.

An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS.

Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the pockets of Saudi Arabians . Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.

Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me , my family, and my friends.

I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil.

These companies import Middle Eastern oil:

Shell........................... 205,742,000 barrels

Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels

Exxon/Mobil............... 130,082,000 barrels

Marathon/Speedway... 117,740,000 barrels

Amoco............................62,231,000 barrels

Citgo gas is from South America , from a Dictator who hates Americans. If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $90 - $100 a barrel

Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:

Sunoco..................0 barrels

Conoco................. .0 barrels

Sinclair..................0 barrels

BP/ Phillip s.............0 barrels

Hess......................0 barrels

ARC0.....................0 barrels

If you go to Sunoco.com <" target=_blankhttp://sunoco.com/>; , you will get a list of the station locations near you.

All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do.

Now, don't wimp out at this point.... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

This was sent to me by a relative in an e-mail. Feel free to copy this message on your blog or wherever!!

I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)...and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) .. and so on, by the ti me the me ssage reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!!!! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!

If it goes one level further, you guessed it ..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!

Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. How long would all that take?

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There Comes A Time...

There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take a close look at herself. Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfair life is, or at who made you do it. She has to just look at herself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admired a woman who has been through changes in her life? Or have you made up your mind that she is just messed up. Before you make this mistake, take a closer look. A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someone of wisdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go through things that have made her stronger.

Think of all the great women in the Bible: Mary Magdalene, Ruth and Naomi, the woman with an issue of blood, and Esther, to name a few. Mary was a prostitute, a very uneasy woman. But by the time Jesus was done with her, she was His closest follower. Esther was unfortunate in marrying an abusive man, but by the time God was done with her, she had married one of the wealthiest men in the land!

Women are so quick to beat the next one down instead of trying to hold her up. Before you wonder, "What's up with her?" ask yourself, "What's up with me?" That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. that woman could be ME.

Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let's build and encourage each other, as did Ruth and Naomi. Pass this on to all the women in your life. Encourage and love, forgive and forget, and trust that the woman that receives this will be touched in some way.

May the Peace and Love of Christ be upon you!

Little thugs. Adonis 2years old, and Andolis 3 years old

The Boys at Kimma's house. Dodo, Jarrod, D'andre, Adris, Isaiah, Adonis

Happy New Year!!!!

I'm Gonna Party My Ass Off Like A Brain Dead Test Monkey!

$20 Dollar Bill

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it." If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring. Count your blessings, not your problems. "And remember: amateurs built the ark .. professionals built the Titanic. If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

If there is anyone who needs to read this it is this woman, Holly. Inocent until proven guilty, right?

Police: Intoxicated Woman Let 5-Year-Old Son Drive. read more....

HOW MUCH HOOD DO YOU HAVE IN YOU??

GET A PENCIL AND PAPER BEFORE YOU START THIS. JUST HOW GHETTO IS U??

1. You've ever used an album cover for a dustpan.

(5 points)

2. If you've ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street.

(10 points)

3. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood.

(5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)

4. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt.

(3 points for each)

5. If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school.

(2 points)

6. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath.

(5 points)

7. If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time because you got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made.

(5 points)

8. If you have ever played any of the following games: hide and go seek, freeze, tag, Momma may I? or red light/green light.

(2 points each)

9. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man.

(2 points + 2 if he rang a bell)

10. If you refer to "Now and Later" candies as "Nighladers".

(5 points)

11. If you've ever run from the police on foot.

(5 points + 5 if you got away)

12. If you've ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove.

(5 points + 15 if you still do it)

13. The batteries in your remote control ever been held in by a piece of tape.

(5 points)

14. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge.

(1 point each):

15. You've ever used Tussy Deodorant.

(5 points)

16. You've never been to the dentist.

(15 points)

17. If you have a friend or family member whose nickname is one word said twice: dee-dee, fee-fee, man-man, Kay-Kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay, tee-tee etc.

(10 points)

18. You have ever paged yourself for any reason.

(3 points)

19. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house.

(2 points)

20. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (e.g. Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.)

(5 points)

21 You use 'n'em to describe a certain group of people ( for example Craig'n'em or Momma 'n'em).

(5 points)

22. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat.

(5 points)

23. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair.

(10 points)

24. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate.

(2 points)

25. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails.

(5 points)

26. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words.

(10 points)

27. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan 's.

(15 points)

28. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?"

(10 points)

29. You think Tupac is still alive.

(20 points)

30. If you are going to have to use a calculator to add your points.

(25points)

-- Now the totals... 0 - 50 points - I guess you were raised in the suburbs

51 - 75 points - A bonafide ex-hood rat

76 - 150 points - Spent a little time in the projects, huh?

150 points or more - Still there, huh?

FORWARD AND PUT YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT BOX SO PEOPLE CAN SEE HOW GHETTO YOU REALLY IS!!!

I scored an 84, so I did spend a little time in the projects.

I AM YOUR DISEASE

I hate meetings. I hate higher power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death, and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of ALCOHOLISM, DRUG ADDICTION.

Cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's me. I have killed millions and I am pleased. I love to catch YOU WITH THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. I LOVE PRETENDING I AM YOUR FRIEND AND LOVER. I HAVE GIVEN YOU COMFORT, HAVE I NOT? WASN'T I THERE WHEN YOU WERE LONELY? WHEN YOU WANTED TO DIE, DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? I was there.

I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life.

People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously, fools that they are. They don't know that without my help, these things would not be possible.

I am such a hated disease. And yet, I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you, who have a 12 Step Program. Your Program, your meetings, your higher power. All weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here Quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing, bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I only exist, but I am here...And until we meet again,....I wish you PAIN and SUFFERING, and DEATH!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have the compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

"Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference."

Your Blues Ain't Like Mine

"Your Blues Ain't Like Mine" is what I should have told S.P. I was thinking about what he said to me while he rattled off all the things I don't have. Like a good job, car insurance, a driver license, my own apartment, and on and on. He asked me what I was doing 10 years ago and I said I was a cocktail hooker at The Muckelshoot Casino. I didn't get a chance to add that I also was heavy into using drugs and alcohol at the time. His reply was, see you're moving backwards. What kind of Shit is that. You don't know me like that Homey!!! The devil is gone give me my shit back!! S.P. said that he had gone through a lot, a lot more than I had because he is 11 years older than me, and how his Mom and Sister had been through a lot but they still keep their head up and smile. Yeah, but I bet you they cry in the middle of the night when no one is looking, like I do! He asked me 'why would I want to be with someone like that?' I replied 'So why are you even talking to me right now!! Goodbye! and I hung up the phone. So when I told him ( a couple of days later)I was reading "Your Blues Ain't Like Mine" he got kinda quiet. That conversation made me cry for a long time. I need someone in my life who can make me feel good about me. I no longer use drugs and I no longer drink myself into a stuipor because I can't deal with what life throws at me. That should make me feel good, right? I forgot, I also quit smoking them nasty ass cigarettes. No more stank ass smoke in my hair and in my clothes. No more worrying about having enough cigarettes to get me through the night.

I guess I'm giving him too much power over me. My feelings are hurt very easily by him. I will take my power back starting today!!!!! Good to get that out.

Often, women sing the blues. Sometimes we get so involved in each trying to sing our woeful tune with more volume and passion than the other, that we forget about the commonality of our blues and the commonality of the source of our blues. Rather than fuss and disagree about whose blues is the worst, we should realize that although our blues ain’t exactly the same, we are all hiding our faces and crying. by authur Bebe Moore Campbell


Following is the core story of the book "You're Blues Ain't Like Mine" by Bebe Moore Campbell:

Lily has dropped out of high school to marry Floyd. Floyd owns a pool hall that the colored people in the community regularly frequent. Lily is a young mother and a dreamer. Often she takes her baby to the train station to sit and dream of leaving Mississippi and going to some far away place like Memphis, Tennessee. It is at the often deserted train station that Lily meets and shares dreams with Ida.
Ida is a struggling young colored woman who also has a child. Ida dreams of going north and of making a better, and an educated, life for herself and for her child. By exchanging their stories and dreams, Lily and Ida realize their similarities and spiritual kinship, although they are as different as black and white.
The singing of the colored people, as they work in the fields, provides a comforting backdrop for Lily while she keeps house. Lily has a fascination with colored people and the music of their lives. One morning Lily awakens feeling aroused and manages to awaken Floyd and persuade him to take her to town with him. When they get to town, Floyd buys Lily the toilet water and lipstick she wants. Then he instructs her to stay in the truck while he takes care of some business.
Lily disobeys Floyd and walks curiously toward the pool hall that Floyd owns; it is full of colored men. She happens to peek into the pool hall where a fifteen-year-old black child from the north, Armstrong, is showing off by speaking French. Lily and Armstrong make eye contact. They are both amused; then she hurries out the pool hall. Later, a colored man who works for Floyd in the pool hall tells Floyd that Armstrong was talking French to his wife Lily. Floyd doesn’t quite know how to handle the situation. So he curses and threatens Armstrong and tells him to get out of his pool hall. When Floyd returns to his truck, he slaps Lily for getting out of the truck.
When Lily sees Ida at the train station that night, Lily is still quite upset about everything. Lily confides in Ida. When Ida learns who the colored boy is, she is especially distraught. The boy is a close family friend. Lily tells Ida not to worry, that the skirmish is over and that the boy is not in danger.
Still, Ida runs directly to the boy’s grandmother’s house. She is comforted when she learns that the boy is leaving on a bus to go away to school the next morning, and Ida persuades herself to believe her friend Lily that Armstrong is not in danger.
Earlier that same night, Floyd’s father and brother learn about what happened at the pool hall. They persuade Floyd that they must make an example of the boy, and they go with him to “handle” the situation. Although Floyd pulls the trigger, they all participate in the brutalization and the fatal shooting of the boy. Floyd later tells Lily that he killed the boy for her.

"Tryly Engaging.. Campbell has a storyteller's ear for dialogue and the visual sense of painting a picture and a place... There's a steam that keeps the story moving as the characters, and later their children, wrestle through racial, personal and cultural crisis."

-Los Angeles Times Book Review

I am almost done with this book (only 150 pages to go) and I really don't want it to end. When I heard Mrs. Campbell had passed away November 27, 2006, I collected all of her books. The next one I will read by her is "Brothers and Sisters." I know it won't let me down.

Loving Him Without Losing You

How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself
Loving Him without Losing You

With every man I have dated since I was 17 I have completely lost myself in my romantic relationships. I have neglected my jobs, family and friends.. I have definitely neglected my health, drinking too much, partying too hard and later regretting it. Whatever he was doing at the time I fell into. This is something I needed to work on in my life. Turn it all around. I needed to realize that being in love wasn’t everything. Well, more like being in love with the wrong man. I would jump into a relationship without first getting to know that person. What did we really have in common, partying, sex, and more partying? I was going nowhere fast.

I came across this book on my favorite web site (Paperback swap.) It’s called
“How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself; Loving Him without Losing You" by: Beverly Engel. I was in a relationship at the time (we’ll call him S.P.) and I found myself losing me again. I stopped working on my Blogs, I stopped reading, I didn’t spend much time with family members. Spending more time with him than the time my son needed me to spend with him. All I could do was day dream-about Him when I wasn’t with Him. This book helped me to put the brakes on, step back and take a deep breath. I think S.P. started to feel smothered also. So we decided to take a two-week break from each other. Well, it wasn’t a full two weeks, but we’re not seeing each other as much as we used to. I spend a lot more time with my son and I think we are both happier.

Jokes: Gassy Broad

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, ''He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems.'' So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.

A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.

Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her, exclaming delightedly, ''Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'' He then blindfolded her then led her to a chair at the table. Just as he was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold till he came back. Then he went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted the weight to one leg, and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelt like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk coming froma pulp mill. She took a napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears turned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signed the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with the napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contently to herself, she was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removes the blindfold to reveal twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a first Happy Anniversary!

Jokes: Top Ten Tips To Know If You Have PMS

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
3. You're counting down the days until menopause.
2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Jokes: 101 Ways To Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Jokes: Smart Ass Answers

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.


SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam."Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Running From The One You Loved

Running From the One You Loved
Packing quickly, throwing some things in a bag.
Hurrying the child with sleep in his eyes. ..
Knowing that there isn't much time.
Running away from the one you loved.
The stranger waitng in the cab...

Compassion in his eyes.
Wanting to look back at the house where you thought

life would be good,
But there's no looking back, only forward.
Not quite recovered from the last beating. ..
Physically hurting and sick at heart,
Wondering how things had gone so wrong.
For so long, he had you convinced that it was your fault...
That you deserved all the pain he gave you.
For so long you had yourself convinced that if you just tried harder,

he would change.
Now knowing the truth. ..

You were the one who had to change.
You found the courage deep inside

To start a new life without the fear.
A better life for you and your child.
Running away from the one you loved.
Finding a love you'd lost. ..
The love of yourself.

I found this poem on this blog "Out of Darkness"... And it described exactly how I felt leaving my son's Dad in 1998. The pain is still fresh in my heart and it will always be there. I am a survivor!!

"Someone was hurt before you.....beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet someone survived."~Maya Angelou

One of these days I will be able to sit down and write about my past abusive relationships. Until then I know I am a survivor.

3 faces of Johnny

Learning Photoshop 7.0

Sarah's Garden Now

Grandma Sarah's Fantasy Garden Summer of 2005

Learning to add text to photos with Photoshop 7.0

Grandma Sarah Imagining her future garden. Sometime in the 70s?

The Seven Great Prayers

1) I love you God
2) Thank you God for our nations troops.
3) God, you are inside me
4) I attract God's blessings
5) God, I see you everywhere
6) God bless and I love our troops
7) God, let me do your good works

Just playing around with our new digital camera!!

Cute Stuff

Gone Fishing

My Johnny at 12 years old. 2006-2007 school year.

I'll Be Happy When....

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enugh and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting...
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer...
Until spring.
Until winter.
Util fall.
Until you die!

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.

R.I.P. Cousin Drew (November 4, 1954-November 14,2005)

Johnny's drawings

Mimi, Tanisha, Cosette, Mom Marsha, Angelique(aka cozynblue) Sister Akimma
New camera needed for Christmas, Please. This pic was taken with one of those one time use cameras. Loser.

Mc Donalds Job Application

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

Miscellaneous: 13 Ways to Be Happy

1) Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2) Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everyting, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3) Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4) You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5) Don't let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.
6) Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7) Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8) Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, avoid people ho make you unhappy.
9) Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10) Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11) Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12) Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
13) Don't worry. Turn it over to God!!

I will read this list on a daily!! I will be adding to this list.

Autumn Trees

Inspiration: To those with ears to hear and eyes to see, there will be very great release from unbearable burdens in the language of autumn trees, for example, when they dress most gloriously in preparation for death. The red of the leaves is the sign of the cross. Winter follows, when snow closes everything in frozen silence. The trees then are skeletons, but wonders are being performed under the surface of things. Spring comes, and the gidden wonders burst out all at once-tiny shoots, swelling buds, touches of green and red where all seemed hopeless the day before..Plain lessons for us, if we'll open our eyes.
If the leaves had not been let go to fall and wither, if the tree had not consented to be a skeleton for many months, there would be no new life rising, no bud, no flower, no fruit, no seed, no new generation.
From: Inspirational Study Bible by: Max Lucado

The Graham Team List, Sell, Buy a Home

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Funny computer key

Joke: Irish Medical Dictionary

No offence to the Irish heh, I just kept the title as it is from the email I received

Artery - The study of paintings


Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria

Barium - What doctors do when patients die

Benign - What you be after you're eight

Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan - Searching for Kitty

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

Colic - A sheep dog

Coma - A punctuation mark

Dilate - To live long

Enema - Not a friend

Fester - Quicker than someone else

Fibula - A small lie

Impotent - Distinguished, well-known

Labour pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical staff - A Doctor's cane

Morbid - A higher offer

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

Post operative - A letter carrier

Recovery room - A place to do upholstery

Rectum - Nearly killed him

Secretion - Hiding something

Seizure - Roman emperor

Tablet - A small table

Terminal illness - Getting ill at the airport

Tumour - One plus one more

Urine - Opposite of you're out

2 x Condoms - To be sure, to be sure

Instant Comfort/Little things that calm me down and lift me up

I am going to try to list 100 Instant Comfort Things in the next week(more added daily), so that I can look at this list in the future when stressing out and pick 5 to help me relax....Warning!! There are links....
1) Reading a good Stephen King book
2) Taking a hot shower and changing into pajamas after a long, stressful day
3) Hugs
4) Getting my hair done
5) Prince singing anything (3121 is the SHIT)
6) A filled-to-the brim gas tank
7) The sound of my 12 year old coming home from school
8) Quiet
9) Watching my 2 year old nephew read (look at pictures in a magazine or book)
10) Campfires
11) Home baked Macaroni and Cheese
12) Checking things off my t0-do list
13) Pulling my blankie all the way up to my nose(yes I do have a blankie)
14) Falling asleep without having to take an Ambien
15) A fully stocked fridge
16) Fully stocked cabinets
17) A big scoop of Rocky Road ice cream
18) Finally killing that annoying fly that woke me up buzzing in my ear this morning
19) A supersoft hooded sweatshirt
20) A quiet morning to myself
21) Coffee perculating
22) A hot shower after a workout
23) Brownies baking in the oven
24) Sinking into a hot bath, no kids around
25) My son's voice, when he's happy
26) Reading my study bible early in the morning before anyone wakes up
27) A hot cup of Tension Tamer Tea
28) Something simmering in my crockpot
29) The smell of home baked lasagna
30) A good Wendy French book
31) Collecting Sand Dollar sea shells on the beach
32) Watching a waterfall
33) A Lakers game and a cold beer
34) Freshly folded laundry

35) Early morining internet (it's 6:30 a.m.) 3121 in the background

36) A good movie with a good friend (Last Movie seen "The Departed!!")

37) Good dreams instead of night terrors

38) Not finishing a horrible book (Survivor by: J.F. Gonzalez, sicko)

39) Catching 3-4 good crabs

40) Fishing with my son Johnny.

41) Watching my son make the perfect cast

42) A check in the mail

43) Books in the mail (like Xmas)

44) A smile and a wave from the neighbor (JT)

45) A smile and a wave from the neighbor (Armando)

46) Finding that your work was saved, after all, when your computer crashes!!

47) A good beer buzz early in the morning

48) Feeling 'Beautiful, Loved and Blessed'

49) E-40 rappen about anythang

50) A good cookbook (fav: Patty Labelle's

'Labelle Cuisine')
51)Finding money while doing laundry, that I know wasn't mine!
52) A godd Zora Neale Hurston book(now reading 'Jonah's Gourd Vine')
53) My nephew fresh out of the bath.
54) General Hospital on a Friday afternoon(cliffhanger day)
55) A good salad with all the fixens(Feta cheese, advacado, tomato, carrots, celery,cabbage.)
56) Judge Judy
57) A Joyce Meyer sermon and book(now reading 'The Confident Woman')
58) A good old Grilled Cheese sandwhich.
59) A good old Tuna Melt.
60) Laughing with a good friend.
61) Writing in my journals.
62) Being single.
63) Dru Hill
64) Johnny's drawings.
65) A little sarcasm.
66) Judge Joe Brown.
67) Funny junk.com(You Kicked My Dog)

Suffering: How Do We Respond?

Investigators Seek Clues in NYC Crash


NEW YORK (AP) -- Federal investigators continue to search for clues about the plane crash that killed New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle and a flight instructor. The National Transportation Safety Board says there is no indication a distress call was made before the plane crashed into a Manhattan apartment building yesterday. continued....

I was pretty shaken when I tuned into the news yesterday afternoon. At first I thought, 'Another terrorist attack.' PANIC. And then we find it was just an accident. I had to find something to help me deal with these mixed feelings. A feeling of relief, because it wasn't something as big as a terrorist attack, but also a feeling of loss and fear. At any moment a plane can crash land into my apartment. I don't have to fly to be afraid of airplanes.
I found something to help me deal with that fear in "Our Daily Bread". Yesterdays reading went like this.



Suffering: How Do We Respond?
Man who is born of woman is of few day and full of trouble.
-Job 14:1

Why is there suffering? You might ask that question when you hear of hurricanes, mudslides, earthquakes, and other disasters taking people's lives. Job asked that question too.
Why is there so much pain in God's world? Consider these reasons:
1) We can't escape the laws that govern our universe. We need such things as gravity, weather, and fire to survive, but they can lead to tragedy. (Mathew 5:45). Fire is good in your stove, but an out-of-control fire can kill.
2) We are a social race. Our lives are intertwined, so we sometimes suffer when the sin or foolishness of others spreads trouble (1 Corinthians 12:26).
3) Sin brought a curse on the earth and its people. This curse includes disease and death (Genesis 3:15-24).
4) Suffering awakens compassion. Jesus told us to care for those who suffer in poverty. We are His partners in helping others (Luke 10:33-35)
As Job discovered, God's world is a fallen place. When we see suffering, we can use it as an opportunity to serve God by helping others, to trust Him in spite of the difficulty, and to grow in our faith in Him.
When trouble hits, let our first reaction be to trust the Lord and care for the needs of others. -Dave Branon

For Further Study
Wondering about the reason for your trials? Read the online booklet "Why Would A Good God Allow Suffering? at http://www.rbc.org/bible_study/discovery_series/booklet/30993.aspx


Our response to suffering can either make us or break us.

People, Places, Things, and Ideas

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empbty of it's furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight. -Rumi

Joke: Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Joke: Pick Up Lines

Bond. James Bond.
Off. Piss off.

Hello.
Goodbye.

Queuing is so boring, don't you find?
It is now.

Shall we go and see a film next week?
I've seen it.

Why not be original and say yes?
No.

You're irresistible.
You're resistible.

What's it like being the most attractive person here?
You'll never know.

Would you like to come back to my place for a bacardi and grope?
No, just a gin and platonic, thanks.

Very difficult getting served here. What are you having in case I get served first?
An attack of nausea.

Do you kiss with your eyes closed?
I would if I were kissing you.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
Yes - I was looking for a brain cell.

I think I could make you very happy.
Why, are you leaving?

I'd go through anything for you.
Great, the exit's just over there.

Hey baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter.

Are you free tomorrow night?
No, but I'm on special offer the day after.

Can I buy you a drink?
I would think so - why don't you ask the barman?

Can I buy you a drink?
I'd rather just have the cash.

Where have you been all my life?
What do you mean - I wasn't even born for the first half of it.

Can you give me your name, please?
I don't think 'Melissa' would suit you.

Cheer up darling, it may never happen.
It just has.

Do you mind if I smoke?
I don't care if you burn.

I'm sure I've noticed you before.
I'm not sure I've even noticed you yet.

Kiss me and I'll tell you a secret.
I know your secret - I work at the clinic.

May I introduce myself?
Certainly - try those people over there.

Shall we go all the way?
Yes, as long as it's in different directions.

When can we be alone?
We'll be alone when we're not with each other. Hopefully that'll be soon.

Will you come out with me on Saturday?
Sorry, I'm having a headache at the weekend.

Women say I have the gift of the gab.
I suggest you wrap it up, then.

Would you like another drink?
Do you really think our relationship will last that long?

Joke: Nice Poetry

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then ~
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

When your life is in darkness pray to God
Ask him to free u from darkness
And if after you pray
And you're still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

Vintage Prince/Sexuality

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Prince/Black Sweat

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Prince Parody/Black Sweat (Pretty Funny)

teeeee heeeeeee, ..watch til the end where she screams, Fall off my chair every time!!omg....aghhhhh Brilliant, I love prince, and i am sure he loves this!Marrrrrvlous..


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This is what I'm doing today. Finding viedo's and posting them. My son John taught me how. I am recovering from yesterday's hang over. I figure I have to either quit drinking or quit taking my meds. HMMMM. Choices, choices. The mixture makes me sick as a dog. Close to death it seems. I'll make up my mind by the end of this day......

Musicology by: My favorite man Prince

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Dave Chappelle is a fool!

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