Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how kin uh hep yi?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.

' Walmart Employee: 'Wha yi wan on de cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING!

You can't fix stupid!!

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going tobe able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." He sighed ................ "Let's put all of the Frosted Flakes back in the box

Ever look to the sky ask yourself and wonder why

When a heart breaks and wants to cry

It mends for another try

Gaze into the heaven above

Searching for one true lovethe sky transforms into night

Hazing your mind with sight

And Dream

Oh Yea Dream

Dream on with all your might

Dream on throughout the night

Ponder your thoughts away

Dreams turning night to day

So Dream

Oh Yeah Dream
The power of love at night

Like a dream a vision of light

sparks fly every which way

Turns day to night so they say

So Dream

Oh Yea Dream
Miracles do come true

Clouds go, the sky turns blue

The darkness of night comes by

so dreams can fill the sky

Dream on with all your might

Dream on throughout the night

The power of love at nightLike dreams.

A vision of light.

So Dream

Oh Yea Dream
Gaze to the heaven above

seek out your one true love

Ponder your thoughts away

Dreams turning night to day

Sparks fly every which way

Turns day to night so they

So Dream

Oh Yea Dream

Dream Oh Yea Dream

Dream

Angelique invited you to compare books

hi e,

Let's connect on Goodreads so we can share book recommendations.

http://www.goodreads.com/friend/i?e=cozynblue.cosette@blogger.com&n=e&i=LTM2MDQ3Mzc1NjI6MzY0 &utm_medium=email&utm_source=invite

- Angelique

(cozynblue@yahoo.com)

Goodreads is a community for book lovers. It's a great way to get book recommendations from your friends and others. You can keep a list of books to read, join book clubs, and even take the never-ending book trivia quiz.

To opt-out of future invites to Goodreads please click here.

This email was sent by request to cozynblue.cosette@blogger.com.

Triple Play Day
This was my triple play I did today:1) Albertsons has select Kellogg's cereals 50% off, making them $1.99 - $2.34.

2) I printed ten $1 Kelloggs coupons here (you can print the whole list twice)3) I bought 10 boxes for about $13 after coupons.

4) I earned two free Star Trek movie tickets which printed at checkout. ( I believe this is the last day it will print)

Your wife decides to go out with her friends on a girls night out dancing....

You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night....

You hear her stumble into bed around 4am and laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover....

You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night...

You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....

You circle the car looking for dents and find none....

But then wait a minute....

A picture is worth a thousand words....

HOW MANY ZEROS IN A BILLION

How many zeros in a billion??? Good shit…

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the

word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about

whether you want the 'politicians' spending

YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,

but one advertising agency did a good job of

putting that figure into some perspective in

one of it's releases.
A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were

living in the Stone Age.

D.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E.

A billion dollars ago was only

8 hours and 20 minutes,

at the rate our government

is spending it.


While this thought is still fresh in our brain...

let's take a look at New Orleans ...

It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.


Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)

is presently asking Congress for

250 BILLION DOLLARS

to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...

what does it mean?



A.

Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans

(every man, woman, and child)

you each get $516,528.


B.

Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in

New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.


C.

Or... if you are a family of four,

your family gets $2,066,012.



Washington, D. C.

HELLO!



Are all your calculators broken??




Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL License Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service charge taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax (Truckers)

Sales Taxes

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Utility Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax


STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?


Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...

and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.


We had absolutely no national debt...

We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids .



What happened?

Can you spell 'politicians!'


And .. I still have to

press "1"

for English.


I hope this goes around the

U S A

at least a billion times!!!





What the heck happened????

"Happy Mail" Wanted!
Children fighting for their lives have very little to smile about. You can change that by sending them some "Happy Mail." Cheery cards give these kids a few more smiles, a little more hope, and a reason to get out of bed each day.
Experience the satisfaction of making a sick child's day and giving them something to look forward to. Send a card and a hug -- one of the smiles you create just might be your own!

Mammograms Funnies

Had to share - this is funny! Be sure and read the exercises at the end... before your next mammography.

Mammograms (Honestly, a mammogram is not this bad!!! *LOL* So let nothing prevent you from having this procedure done... it could save your life!!!!) Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up unt il your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!AND, just a thought for all the women out there........MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,MENopause............Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........AndWhen we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra.... Hard to Find... Supportive Comfortable Always Lifts You Up Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!! Share this with a friend! I DID

A Tennessee Woman is in the Welfare Office Filling out Forms

Funny !!
A Tennessee woman is in the welfare office filling out forms.
The welfare officer asks her how many children she has?
"Ten boys."
"And their names?"
Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy."
All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?"
"That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I
just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to
dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'"
"What if you just want a particular one of them to do something?"
"Then I calls him by his last name."

Little Monsters Ready for Church

Little Monsters Adonis and Andolis

Two Little Monsters

'Never allow someone to be your Priority, While allowing yourself to be their Option'

Hello FABULOUS Woman! You have been hit. You have been considered one of the 10 MOST FABULOUS women with warm loving hearts on my friends list. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 10 FABULOUS women. If you get hit again you know you're really FABULOUS.

IF I HAD MY CHILD TO RAISE OVER AGAIN...

I would finger paint more, and point my finger less.

I would do less correcting, and do more connecting.

I would take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I would take more hikes, and fly more kites.

I would stop being serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.

I would do more hugging, and much less tugging

I would disagree less often, and be agreeable much more.

I would build self-esteem first, then build a house later.

I would teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

Every day is a blessed day, done over and over in every way.

Only because they grow up so fast, days soon to be in the past.

So you see... if I had my child to raise over again.

HISTORY HAS A WAY OF REPEATING ITSELF

... The little black girl who had to be escorted to school by federal marshals. "On November 14, 1960, nearly 48 years ago, Bridges faced hostile crowds as the first black child to attend a previously all-white New Orleans school. She was 6 years old and had only been told by her mother that she was going to be attending a new school that day and 'had better behave.' Little did she know that she would be bombarded with jeers and even death threats, and that she would end up being the sole child in her first grade class after other children were kept home by their parents." All because Ruby was Black.

Forty-eight years later -- January 5, 2009 -- here is a picture of Sasha Obama, a little 7 year old Black girl, being escorted to school by her mother, First Lady-elect Michelle Obama, and the Secret Service because Sasha's daddy is now President-elect of the United States.

Lady Barbara K.Black-Williams"The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree..."

HERE IS A LIST OF THE NEW ZEN SARCASMS

21. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
19. There are two theories to arguing with a women - Neither one works.
18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
17. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
16. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
15. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.
11. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket.
9. Never test the depth of the water with both feet
8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
6.. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you.
5. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.
4. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
2. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

NUFF SAIDDD.....

Obama's First Big Decision!!

Yes!! A Black Man with a Brown name in the White House??

Cell Phones For Soldiers

Cell Phone Recycling Program

Frequently Asked Questions


Q. Are you a non-profit 501(c)(3) company?

A. Yes. We have received our non-profit designation from the IRS. Please view our 501(c)(3) letter here.

Q. What types of cell phones do you want?

A. We will accept any type of cell phone.

Q. Where do I send or drop off my phones?

A. Phones can be sent to the address listed on the Donate a Phone page or can be dropped off at any of the official CPFS drop off sites. We are always looking for more businesses or groups to become drop off sites. You may have a phone drive for a day, a week, or ongoing.

Q. What do you do with the cell phones?

A. The cell phones are sold to a company that recycles them. The money that we get for the phones is used to purchase calling cards that we send to our soldiers serving.

Q. Is there a way I can erase my personal data BEFORE the phone is donated?

A. YES. The Cell Phone Data Eraser gives you the tools you need to remove personal information like contact names and phone numbers from your old cell phone.

Q. Do you send any cell phones to the soldiers?

A. No. Most of the cell phones that we receive are not GSM enabled, therefore would not work in the Middle East. In addition, for security reasons, we cannot send a cell phone directly to a US soldier serving in a war zone.

Q. Can I donate a calling card to a specific soldier or unit?

A. Yes, as long we have the APO we can directly mail cards to the soldier.

Q. How do I make a cash donation?

A. If you want to make a donation by credit card, go to the Donate Money page and follow the instructions provided. The donation will go to the Cell Phones For Soldiers fund account at the South Shore Savings Bank. You may also send a check, money order, or prepaid calling card directly to:

South Shore Savings Bank
400 Washington Street
Norwell, MA 02061

We ask that you do not call the bank directly. For questions, please call 1-800-426-1031.

Q. How do I become a sponsor?

A. We are asking for a minimum $1,000.00 donation to the fund to be listed as one of our sponsors. Your company or group may hold a fundraising event, act as a drop off point for used cell phones, or contribute services in lieu of a cash donation.

Q. What if I want to hold an event or fundraiser?

A. Give us the information on what type of fundraiser you want to have, when and where it will be, and a brief description of what activities will be taking place: We will send you an informational packet on how to
promote and expand your program.

Q. What do I do if I have a problem with the pick-up of my phones by USPS?

A. Please contact our recycler directly:

ReCellular, Inc.2555 Bishop Circle West
Dexter, MI 48130 USA
Toll Free: 800-426-1031
cellphonesforsoldiers@recellular.com