Missing in action

I messed up and fell behind on my cable/internet bill. The shit got cut off. so no blogging for over a month. I could have lost my mind. Wait a minute, that's already been done. Internet is finally back up so here I am again. I will be surfing blogs all night.

"The 4400" RETURNS FOR SEASON FOUR

The Emmy-nominated Series Returns to USA with 13 Original Episodes for Summer 2007

LOS ANGELES -- August 22, 2006 -- USA Network has ordered 13 one-hour episodes of the Emmy-nominated and critically-acclaimed hit series The 4400, it was announced today by Jeff Wachtel, USA's executive vice president, original programming. The series, which has garnered an Emmy nomination, will return to USA Network in summer 2007 with production scheduled to begin in Vancouver in early 2007. The 4400 is produced by CBS Paramount Network Television in Association with Sky Television, Renegade 83 and American Zoetrope for USA Network. Read more.....

Hope for Night Terrors? Peaceful Sleep

I have night terrors that can keep me from sleeping for days. Last night was pretty bad. I had one nightmare after the other. I usually have what is call 'sleep paralysis,' but this was just straight up night mares that I didn't want to go back to. Finally around 2 in the morning I said f*** it and got up and went out with a friend. Right now I'm probably on about 2 hours of sleep and manic as hell. Hello!! I no longer take Ambien, don't need another addiction, so I will turn to prayer. My sister told me about this prayer in the book we both have (Prayers That Avail Much by: Germaine Copeland) Here it go....

Peaceful Sleep

In the name of Jesus, I bind you, Satan, and all your agents from my dreams. I forbid you to interfere in any way with my sleep.

I bring every thought, every imagination and every dream into the captivity and obedience of Jesus Christ. Father, I thank You that even as I sleep my heart counsels me and reveals to me Your purpose and plan. Thank you for sweet sleep, for You promised Your beloved sweet sleep. Therefore, my heart is glad, and my spirit rejoices. My body and soul rest and confidently dwell in safety. Amen.

I need Inspiration

Discouraged people don't need critics.
They hurt enough already. They don't
need more guilt or piled-on distress.
They need encouragement.
They need a refuge.
A place to hide and heal.
A willing, caring, available someone.

Inspiration from my Good Book(The Inspirational Study Bible by: Max Lucado)


I need people who give me encouragement in my struggles with my mentality and my alcoholism. I am told you are an alcoholic for life but I don't believe that for a minute. In God you can be made new. I pray that one day I will find that man who will inspire me and not criticize me in a time of need.

Thought for the Day...
Few of us can stand prosperity--another man's, I mean.
Following the Equator - Mark Twain

HOPE FOR THE BLUES

You’ve felt it yourself, or at least listened to other people talk about it—the blues, times of dark discouragement. Lynette Joy, in an article for christianwomentoday.com, tells of several steps we can take during those dark times to turn toward Jesus, . . .more



I try to read "Our Daily Bread" every day. It really does change my attitude and helps me with direction. I get a booklet monthly in the mail at no charge, it's always good to donate money to help others get the Word.

Devotional articles for each day of the week will challenge and inspire as you spend time in God's Word with the help of Our Daily Bread.

To receive a sample of "Our Daily Bread," please fill out the form.

You should check out the movie Manic. I just watched it last night.



Manic
.

Increased physical and mental activity and energy

Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence

Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior

Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue

Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance

Racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas

Impulsiveness, poor judgment, distractibility

Reckless behavior

In the most severe cases, delusions and hallucinations


You feel unusually confident

You need less sleep

You are unusually talkative

Your thoughts come and go faster than usual

You are more easily distracted or have trouble concentrating

You are more goal-directed at work, school or home

You are more involved in pleasurable or high-risk activities, such as spending or sex

You feel like you’re doing or saying things that are unlike your usual self

Other people say you’re acting strangely or you’re not yourself

I had a lot of these symptoms the last couple of days. I want off this crazy roller coaster.I will be seein Dr. Luri in the morning and I am going to have him prescribe Lamictal. Common side effects are dizziness, headache, blurred or double vision, Lack of coordinaiton(I was never to coordinated to begin with)sleepiness, nausea, vomiting, insomnia, rash. I'll start with the lowest dose which is 25 Mgs. I'll pray that I don't have any bad side effects. I'm a wimp when it comes to shit like that

Bush is a lie!!!

There was a guy who died and went to heaven. He noticed that heaven was full of clocks so he asked St. Peter, "what are the clocks for?" and St. Peter answered, "the clocks move everytime a person tells a lie."

So the guy looked around and noticed that George Bush's clock was missing.

"Where is the president's clock?" He asked.

St. Peter replied, "It's in hell. Satan's using it as a ceiling fan."

It is better to be crazy and know it
than sane and wonder.

~Unknown

Jesus said, "If your first concern is to look after yourself, youll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, youll find both yourself and me."

Matthew 10:39

It's a Tension Tamer Tea Day!

So I drink a little too much,
and I laugh a little too much,
and the tunes I request are not always the best.
But what else can you do at the end of a love affair._Chaka Khan_

I said I would never do that, write lyrics to a song on my blog, but it definitely fit. I had a ball the other night and I paid for it yesterday. One night of drinking and a full day to recover. The older I get the longer the recovery time. Tension Tamer Tea is great for hangovers!! It also works well for panic and anxiety attacks.




Drinking tea can help burn extra fat and calories.

Did you know that drinking tea can help you lose weight? It’s true. Some teas can even help burn fat and calories. A recent scientific study supports green tea’s ability to burn fat and increase metabolism! Read more....

Next I'll try 'Cellestial Seasoning's Detox tea.' Lord knows we can all use some detoxing, whether you drink or not.



“Find me a place in the sunlight
to sit and think and listen to
the sweet inner voice that says so quietly,
'Peace, be still'.”
— Joyce Sequichie Hifler

If someone ever asks
'What's wrong with your mind?'
I shall not utter a word
And keep the answer inward
'No, not the mind...
It's the pain inside...'

Ambien
I went to my doctor yesterday and spoke with her further about Ambien. She said we had to watch my use of Ambien more closely. In order for her to refill my perscription every month I will have to see her first. She called it a controlled substance. What is that exactly? I'll have to look it up. I asked her if that meant it was a narcotic. She said no. I have had problems in the past with narcotics in prescription drugs (Atavan knocked me on my ass) and I never want to go there again!! The more I read about Ambien the more I want to just let it go. Why wait for more problems to surface like sleepwalking. Or sleepdriving. Scary stuff.
The official Ambien site tells us all we need to know. They covered everything.
Not meant to be taken for long periods of time. Can be addicting.
I was given some advice in a forum I was in(Clinical practice discussion forum).. Check out the book "No More Sleepness Nights, By: Peter Hauri. I put it on order at the library right away.

To Ambien or not to Ambien, that is question....
I was so in between being manic and depressed today I don't know what to do with myself. If I don't take an Ambien tonight I will not sleep. But at the same time I am kind of afraid of Ambien. In the middle of the day, I start nodding out. I'm watching my nephew and I am like, gosh a nap would be good right now. I can't be getting drowsy taking care of a 2 year old. I would go to sleep and wake up finding that he has taken over. Juice and cereal all over me. I can see how people can fall asleep at the wheel if they had taken Ambien the night before. Maybe sleepwalking is next for me. HOPE NOT. That is one of the side effects right? More research needed on sleepwalking while on Ambien.....
Check out the Patrick Kennedy "May 2006 Capitol Hill accident report." I thought it was a reason to stop using Ambien until I read more about the incident, tonight. I think he was simply 'just drunk' and tried to blame it on Ambien. But, basically, he was drunk and taking Ambien. If he does have a serious drug problem, it needs to be adressed before someone really gets hurt or dead. The mixture can f$#& you up, right?? What is your opinion on that?? Any Ambien stories out there??
So for now I think I will take one and talk to my doctor in the morning. I will be seeing doctor Judy on Wednesday. I will try not to lie and say everything is OK. Cause it's only Ok on the days when I have to see her. The rest of the week can be basicly s#@t, but I will sit there and pretend like everything is peachy. I realize now that I have to be honest. I am still fighting with family members and others, when I get in these crazy ass moods. It's hard to tell the truth. I want to be sane!! I want to just pretend I am sane. When people who know me, ask me, "How are you doing today" I really don't want to burden them with the truth. What do I say "I've been going out of my mind today" Who really cares. Everyone has something more pressing to deal with, than dealing with little old Angie. I know I sound really down right now but, really I'm not. Just sorting through some junk in my head. I need a beer, so I'm going on a beer run.

You Are 62% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

You Are A Sometimes Ex

You're sometimes an ex, and sometimes you two are back together And while your ex may seem like old news right now... You've got to wonder why you keep getting sucked back in

What Type of Ex Are You?

This is what I did tonight instead of watching fireworks.I surfed blogs and did some surveys. I feel too jittery to watch the fireworks, jumping at every noise. I have this dreadful feeling that something really bad is going to happen tonight. I don't even want my son outside, but how can I ruin his fun because I'm having panic attacks???

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning. It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Are You A Good Cook?

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

'Morning After' Pill Helps Psychotic Depression:

Study(Oct. 8, 2002) It's stirred up much controversy, but the abortion pill known as RU486, also called mifepristone, appears to have another use that few are likely to oppose: a treatment for psychotic depression.

A small study on a group of 30 volunteers at Stanford University indicated that the abortion pill resulted in improvements in symptoms for psychotic depression, which can include not only feelings of hopelessness and sadness, but hallucinations and delusions.
"Some psychotically depressed patients are dramatically better within a few days," says Alan Schatzberg, MD, chair of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford. They stop hearing voices and having pessimistic kinds of delusions, like they're dying or the world is ending. We've seen the response within a four day study. This is fairly dramatic."
Read more.....