Normally I would NEVER post something like this, but this was just all too true.

What You Now Need To Believe To Be A Republican:

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and
Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense,
but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die
is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their
friends and blaming the friends for looking too much like quail.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

posted by KansasSunflower at 2:14 PM
bipolar.and.me: Too True Not to Post: