Monday, December 04, 2006

3 faces of Johnny

Learning Photoshop 7.0

Sarah's Garden Now


Grandma Sarah's Fantasy Garden Summer of 2005

Learning to add text to photos with Photoshop 7.0


Grandma Sarah Imagining her future garden. Sometime in the 70s?

The Seven Great Prayers



1) I love you God
2) Thank you God for our nations troops.
3) God, you are inside me
4) I attract God's blessings
5) God, I see you everywhere
6) God bless and I love our troops
7) God, let me do your good works

Monday, November 20, 2006

My Johnny at 12 years old. 2006-2007 school year.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I'll Be Happy When....

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enugh and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting...
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer...
Until spring.
Until winter.
Util fall.
Until you die!

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.

R.I.P. Cousin Drew (November 4, 1954-November 14,2005)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Johnny's drawings




Mimi, Tanisha, Cosette, Mom Marsha, Angelique(aka cozynblue) Sister Akimma
New camera needed for Christmas, Please. This pic was taken with one of those one time use cameras. Loser.

Mc Donalds Job Application




This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

Miscellaneous: 13 Ways to Be Happy


1) Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2) Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everyting, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3) Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people.
4) You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5) Don't let your neighbour set your standards. Be yourself.
6) Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7) Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
8) Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, avoid people ho make you unhappy.
9) Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10) Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11) Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12) Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.
13) Don't worry. Turn it over to God!!

I will read this list on a daily!! I will be adding to this list.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Autumn Trees


Inspiration: To those with ears to hear and eyes to see, there will be very great release from unbearable burdens in the language of autumn trees, for example, when they dress most gloriously in preparation for death. The red of the leaves is the sign of the cross. Winter follows, when snow closes everything in frozen silence. The trees then are skeletons, but wonders are being performed under the surface of things. Spring comes, and the gidden wonders burst out all at once-tiny shoots, swelling buds, touches of green and red where all seemed hopeless the day before..Plain lessons for us, if we'll open our eyes.
If the leaves had not been let go to fall and wither, if the tree had not consented to be a skeleton for many months, there would be no new life rising, no bud, no flower, no fruit, no seed, no new generation.
From: Inspirational Study Bible by: Max Lucado

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Graham Team List, Sell, Buy a Home

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Funny computer key

Joke: Irish Medical Dictionary

No offence to the Irish heh, I just kept the title as it is from the email I received

Artery - The study of paintings


Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria

Barium - What doctors do when patients die

Benign - What you be after you're eight

Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan - Searching for Kitty

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

Colic - A sheep dog

Coma - A punctuation mark

Dilate - To live long

Enema - Not a friend

Fester - Quicker than someone else

Fibula - A small lie

Impotent - Distinguished, well-known

Labour pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical staff - A Doctor's cane

Morbid - A higher offer

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

Post operative - A letter carrier

Recovery room - A place to do upholstery

Rectum - Nearly killed him

Secretion - Hiding something

Seizure - Roman emperor

Tablet - A small table

Terminal illness - Getting ill at the airport

Tumour - One plus one more

Urine - Opposite of you're out

2 x Condoms - To be sure, to be sure

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Instant Comfort/Little things that calm me down and lift me up


I am going to try to list 100 Instant Comfort Things in the next week(more added daily), so that I can look at this list in the future when stressing out and pick 5 to help me relax....Warning!! There are links....
1) Reading a good Stephen King book
2) Taking a hot shower and changing into pajamas after a long, stressful day
3) Hugs
4) Getting my hair done
5) Prince singing anything (3121 is the SHIT)
6) A filled-to-the brim gas tank
7) The sound of my 12 year old coming home from school
8) Quiet
9) Watching my 2 year old nephew read (look at pictures in a magazine or book)
10) Campfires
11) Home baked Macaroni and Cheese
12) Checking things off my t0-do list
13) Pulling my blankie all the way up to my nose(yes I do have a blankie)
14) Falling asleep without having to take an Ambien
15) A fully stocked fridge
16) Fully stocked cabinets
17) A big scoop of Rocky Road ice cream
18) Finally killing that annoying fly that woke me up buzzing in my ear this morning
19) A supersoft hooded sweatshirt
20) A quiet morning to myself
21) Coffee perculating
22) A hot shower after a workout
23) Brownies baking in the oven
24) Sinking into a hot bath, no kids around
25) My son's voice, when he's happy
26) Reading my study bible early in the morning before anyone wakes up
27) A hot cup of Tension Tamer Tea
28) Something simmering in my crockpot
29) The smell of home baked lasagna
30) A good Wendy French book
31) Collecting Sand Dollar sea shells on the beach
32) Watching a waterfall
33) A Lakers game and a cold beer
34) Freshly folded laundry
35) Early morining internet (it's 6:30 a.m.) 3121 in the background
36) A good movie with a good friend (Last Movie seen "The Departed!!")
37) Good dreams instead of night terrors
38) Not finishing a horrible book (Survivor by: J.F. Gonzalez, sicko)
39) Catching 3-4 good crabs

40) Fishing with my son Johnny.

41) Watching my son make the perfect cast

42) A check in the mail

43) Books in the mail (like Xmas)

44) A smile and a wave from the neighbor (JT)

45) A smile and a wave from the neighbor (Armando)

46) Finding that your work was saved, after all, when your computer crashes!!

47) A good beer buzz early in the morning

48) Feeling 'Beautiful, Loved and Blessed'

49) E-40 rappen about anythang

50) A good cookbook (fav: Patty Labelle's

'Labelle Cuisine')
51)Finding money while doing laundry, that I know wasn't mine!
52) A godd Zora Neale Hurston book(now reading 'Jonah's Gourd Vine')
53) My nephew fresh out of the bath.
54) General Hospital on a Friday afternoon(cliffhanger day)
55) A good salad with all the fixens(Feta cheese, advacado, tomato, carrots, celery,cabbage.)
56) Judge Judy
57) A Joyce Meyer sermon and book(now reading 'The Confident Woman')
58) A good old Grilled Cheese sandwhich.
59) A good old Tuna Melt.
60) Laughing with a good friend.
61) Writing in my journals.
62) Being single.
63) Dru Hill
64) Johnny's drawings.
65) A little sarcasm.
66) Judge Joe Brown.
67) Funny junk.com(You Kicked My Dog)

Suffering: How Do We Respond?




Investigators Seek Clues in NYC Crash


NEW YORK (AP) -- Federal investigators continue to search for clues about the plane crash that killed New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle and a flight instructor. The National Transportation Safety Board says there is no indication a distress call was made before the plane crashed into a Manhattan apartment building yesterday. continued....

I was pretty shaken when I tuned into the news yesterday afternoon. At first I thought, 'Another terrorist attack.' PANIC. And then we find it was just an accident. I had to find something to help me deal with these mixed feelings. A feeling of relief, because it wasn't something as big as a terrorist attack, but also a feeling of loss and fear. At any moment a plane can crash land into my apartment. I don't have to fly to be afraid of airplanes.
I found something to help me deal with that fear in "Our Daily Bread". Yesterdays reading went like this.



Suffering: How Do We Respond?
Man who is born of woman is of few day and full of trouble.
-Job 14:1

Why is there suffering? You might ask that question when you hear of hurricanes, mudslides, earthquakes, and other disasters taking people's lives. Job asked that question too.
Why is there so much pain in God's world? Consider these reasons:
1) We can't escape the laws that govern our universe. We need such things as gravity, weather, and fire to survive, but they can lead to tragedy. (Mathew 5:45). Fire is good in your stove, but an out-of-control fire can kill.
2) We are a social race. Our lives are intertwined, so we sometimes suffer when the sin or foolishness of others spreads trouble (1 Corinthians 12:26).
3) Sin brought a curse on the earth and its people. This curse includes disease and death (Genesis 3:15-24).
4) Suffering awakens compassion. Jesus told us to care for those who suffer in poverty. We are His partners in helping others (Luke 10:33-35)
As Job discovered, God's world is a fallen place. When we see suffering, we can use it as an opportunity to serve God by helping others, to trust Him in spite of the difficulty, and to grow in our faith in Him.
When trouble hits, let our first reaction be to trust the Lord and care for the needs of others. -Dave Branon

For Further Study
Wondering about the reason for your trials? Read the online booklet "Why Would A Good God Allow Suffering? at http://www.rbc.org/bible_study/discovery_series/booklet/30993.aspx


Our response to suffering can either make us or break us.

People, Places, Things, and Ideas


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empbty of it's furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight. -Rumi

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Joke: Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Joke: Pick Up Lines

Bond. James Bond.
Off. Piss off.

Hello.
Goodbye.

Queuing is so boring, don't you find?
It is now.

Shall we go and see a film next week?
I've seen it.

Why not be original and say yes?
No.

You're irresistible.
You're resistible.

What's it like being the most attractive person here?
You'll never know.

Would you like to come back to my place for a bacardi and grope?
No, just a gin and platonic, thanks.

Very difficult getting served here. What are you having in case I get served first?
An attack of nausea.

Do you kiss with your eyes closed?
I would if I were kissing you.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
Yes - I was looking for a brain cell.

I think I could make you very happy.
Why, are you leaving?

I'd go through anything for you.
Great, the exit's just over there.

Hey baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter.

Are you free tomorrow night?
No, but I'm on special offer the day after.

Can I buy you a drink?
I would think so - why don't you ask the barman?

Can I buy you a drink?
I'd rather just have the cash.

Where have you been all my life?
What do you mean - I wasn't even born for the first half of it.

Can you give me your name, please?
I don't think 'Melissa' would suit you.

Cheer up darling, it may never happen.
It just has.

Do you mind if I smoke?
I don't care if you burn.

I'm sure I've noticed you before.
I'm not sure I've even noticed you yet.

Kiss me and I'll tell you a secret.
I know your secret - I work at the clinic.

May I introduce myself?
Certainly - try those people over there.

Shall we go all the way?
Yes, as long as it's in different directions.

When can we be alone?
We'll be alone when we're not with each other. Hopefully that'll be soon.

Will you come out with me on Saturday?
Sorry, I'm having a headache at the weekend.

Women say I have the gift of the gab.
I suggest you wrap it up, then.

Would you like another drink?
Do you really think our relationship will last that long?

Joke: Nice Poetry

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then ~
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

When your life is in darkness pray to God
Ask him to free u from darkness
And if after you pray
And you're still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

Vintage Prince/Sexuality


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Prince/Black Sweat


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Prince Parody/Black Sweat (Pretty Funny)

teeeee heeeeeee, ..watch til the end where she screams, Fall off my chair every time!!omg....aghhhhh Brilliant, I love prince, and i am sure he loves this!Marrrrrvlous..


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

This is what I'm doing today. Finding viedo's and posting them. My son John taught me how. I am recovering from yesterday's hang over. I figure I have to either quit drinking or quit taking my meds. HMMMM. Choices, choices. The mixture makes me sick as a dog. Close to death it seems. I'll make up my mind by the end of this day......

Musicology by: My favorite man Prince


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Dave Chappelle is a fool!


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Missing in action


I messed up and fell behind on my cable/internet bill. The shit got cut off. so no blogging for over a month. I could have lost my mind. Wait a minute, that's already been done. Internet is finally back up so here I am again. I will be surfing blogs all night.

Friday, August 25, 2006

"The 4400" RETURNS FOR SEASON FOUR





The Emmy-nominated Series Returns to USA with 13 Original Episodes for Summer 2007

LOS ANGELES -- August 22, 2006 -- USA Network has ordered 13 one-hour episodes of the Emmy-nominated and critically-acclaimed hit series The 4400, it was announced today by Jeff Wachtel, USA's executive vice president, original programming. The series, which has garnered an Emmy nomination, will return to USA Network in summer 2007 with production scheduled to begin in Vancouver in early 2007. The 4400 is produced by CBS Paramount Network Television in Association with Sky Television, Renegade 83 and American Zoetrope for USA Network. Read more.....

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Hope for Night Terrors? Peaceful Sleep


I have night terrors that can keep me from sleeping for days. Last night was pretty bad. I had one nightmare after the other. I usually have what is call 'sleep paralysis,' but this was just straight up night mares that I didn't want to go back to. Finally around 2 in the morning I said f*** it and got up and went out with a friend. Right now I'm probably on about 2 hours of sleep and manic as hell. Hello!! I no longer take Ambien, don't need another addiction, so I will turn to prayer. My sister told me about this prayer in the book we both have (Prayers That Avail Much by: Germaine Copeland) Here it go....

Peaceful Sleep

In the name of Jesus, I bind you, Satan, and all your agents from my dreams. I forbid you to interfere in any way with my sleep.

I bring every thought, every imagination and every dream into the captivity and obedience of Jesus Christ. Father, I thank You that even as I sleep my heart counsels me and reveals to me Your purpose and plan. Thank you for sweet sleep, for You promised Your beloved sweet sleep. Therefore, my heart is glad, and my spirit rejoices. My body and soul rest and confidently dwell in safety. Amen.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I need Inspiration

Discouraged people don't need critics.
They hurt enough already. They don't
need more guilt or piled-on distress.
They need encouragement.
They need a refuge.
A place to hide and heal.
A willing, caring, available someone.

Inspiration from my Good Book(The Inspirational Study Bible by: Max Lucado)


I need people who give me encouragement in my struggles with my mentality and my alcoholism. I am told you are an alcoholic for life but I don't believe that for a minute. In God you can be made new. I pray that one day I will find that man who will inspire me and not criticize me in a time of need.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Thought for the Day...
Few of us can stand prosperity--another man's, I mean.
Following the Equator - Mark Twain


Monday, August 07, 2006



HOPE FOR THE BLUES

You’ve felt it yourself, or at least listened to other people talk about it—the blues, times of dark discouragement. Lynette Joy, in an article for christianwomentoday.com, tells of several steps we can take during those dark times to turn toward Jesus, . . .more



I try to read "Our Daily Bread" every day. It really does change my attitude and helps me with direction. I get a booklet monthly in the mail at no charge, it's always good to donate money to help others get the Word.

Devotional articles for each day of the week will challenge and inspire as you spend time in God's Word with the help of Our Daily Bread.

To receive a sample of "Our Daily Bread," please fill out the form.

Friday, August 04, 2006



You should check out the movie Manic. I just watched it last night.



Manic
.

Increased physical and mental activity and energy

Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence

Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior

Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue

Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance

Racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas

Impulsiveness, poor judgment, distractibility

Reckless behavior

In the most severe cases, delusions and hallucinations


You feel unusually confident

You need less sleep

You are unusually talkative

Your thoughts come and go faster than usual

You are more easily distracted or have trouble concentrating

You are more goal-directed at work, school or home

You are more involved in pleasurable or high-risk activities, such as spending or sex

You feel like you’re doing or saying things that are unlike your usual self

Other people say you’re acting strangely or you’re not yourself

I had a lot of these symptoms the last couple of days. I want off this crazy roller coaster.I will be seein Dr. Luri in the morning and I am going to have him prescribe Lamictal. Common side effects are dizziness, headache, blurred or double vision, Lack of coordinaiton(I was never to coordinated to begin with)sleepiness, nausea, vomiting, insomnia, rash. I'll start with the lowest dose which is 25 Mgs. I'll pray that I don't have any bad side effects. I'm a wimp when it comes to shit like that

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Bush is a lie!!!

There was a guy who died and went to heaven. He noticed that heaven was full of clocks so he asked St. Peter, "what are the clocks for?" and St. Peter answered, "the clocks move everytime a person tells a lie."

So the guy looked around and noticed that George Bush's clock was missing.

"Where is the president's clock?" He asked.

St. Peter replied, "It's in hell. Satan's using it as a ceiling fan."


It is better to be crazy and know it
than sane and wonder.

~Unknown

Monday, July 17, 2006

Jesus said, "If your first concern is to look after yourself, youll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, youll find both yourself and me."

Matthew 10:39

Saturday, July 15, 2006



It's a Tension Tamer Tea Day!

So I drink a little too much,
and I laugh a little too much,
and the tunes I request are not always the best.
But what else can you do at the end of a love affair.
_Chaka Khan_

I said I would never do that, write lyrics to a song on my blog, but it definitely fit. I had a ball the other night and I paid for it yesterday. One night of drinking and a full day to recover. The older I get the longer the recovery time. Tension Tamer Tea is great for hangovers!! It also works well for panic and anxiety attacks.




Drinking tea can help burn extra fat and calories.

Did you know that drinking tea can help you lose weight? It’s true. Some teas can even help burn fat and calories. A recent scientific study supports green tea’s ability to burn fat and increase metabolism! Read more....

Next I'll try 'Cellestial Seasoning's Detox tea.' Lord knows we can all use some detoxing, whether you drink or not.



“Find me a place in the sunlight
to sit and think and listen to
the sweet inner voice that says so quietly,
'Peace, be still'.”

— Joyce Sequichie Hifler

Thursday, July 13, 2006

If someone ever asks
'What's wrong with your mind?'
I shall not utter a word
And keep the answer inward
'No, not the mind...
It's the pain inside...'

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ambien
I went to my doctor yesterday and spoke with her further about Ambien. She said we had to watch my use of Ambien more closely. In order for her to refill my perscription every month I will have to see her first. She called it a controlled substance. What is that exactly? I'll have to look it up. I asked her if that meant it was a narcotic. She said no. I have had problems in the past with narcotics in prescription drugs (Atavan knocked me on my ass) and I never want to go there again!! The more I read about Ambien the more I want to just let it go. Why wait for more problems to surface like sleepwalking. Or sleepdriving. Scary stuff.
The official Ambien site tells us all we need to know. They covered everything.
Not meant to be taken for long periods of time. Can be addicting.
I was given some advice in a forum I was in(Clinical practice discussion forum).. Check out the book "No More Sleepness Nights, By: Peter Hauri. I put it on order at the library right away.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

To Ambien or not to Ambien, that is question....
I was so in between being manic and depressed today I don't know what to do with myself. If I don't take an Ambien tonight I will not sleep. But at the same time I am kind of afraid of Ambien. In the middle of the day, I start nodding out. I'm watching my nephew and I am like, gosh a nap would be good right now. I can't be getting drowsy taking care of a 2 year old. I would go to sleep and wake up finding that he has taken over. Juice and cereal all over me. I can see how people can fall asleep at the wheel if they had taken Ambien the night before. Maybe sleepwalking is next for me. HOPE NOT. That is one of the side effects right? More research needed on sleepwalking while on Ambien.....
Check out the Patrick Kennedy "May 2006 Capitol Hill accident report." I thought it was a reason to stop using Ambien until I read more about the incident, tonight. I think he was simply 'just drunk' and tried to blame it on Ambien. But, basically, he was drunk and taking Ambien. If he does have a serious drug problem, it needs to be adressed before someone really gets hurt or dead. The mixture can f$#& you up, right?? What is your opinion on that?? Any Ambien stories out there??
So for now I think I will take one and talk to my doctor in the morning. I will be seeing doctor Judy on Wednesday. I will try not to lie and say everything is OK. Cause it's only Ok on the days when I have to see her. The rest of the week can be basicly s#@t, but I will sit there and pretend like everything is peachy. I realize now that I have to be honest. I am still fighting with family members and others, when I get in these crazy ass moods. It's hard to tell the truth. I want to be sane!! I want to just pretend I am sane. When people who know me, ask me, "How are you doing today" I really don't want to burden them with the truth. What do I say "I've been going out of my mind today" Who really cares. Everyone has something more pressing to deal with, than dealing with little old Angie. I know I sound really down right now but, really I'm not. Just sorting through some junk in my head. I need a beer, so I'm going on a beer run.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

You Are 62% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.
You Are A Sometimes Ex

You're sometimes an ex, and sometimes you two are back together
And while your ex may seem like old news right now...
You've got to wonder why you keep getting sucked back in
This is what I did tonight instead of watching fireworks.I surfed blogs and did some surveys. I feel too jittery to watch the fireworks, jumping at every noise. I have this dreadful feeling that something really bad is going to happen tonight. I don't even want my son outside, but how can I ruin his fun because I'm having panic attacks???

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have low conscientiousness.
Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously.
Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions.
Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.
You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...
You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.
'Morning After' Pill Helps Psychotic Depression:

Study(Oct. 8, 2002) It's stirred up much controversy, but the abortion pill known as RU486, also called mifepristone, appears to have another use that few are likely to oppose: a treatment for psychotic depression.

A small study on a group of 30 volunteers at Stanford University indicated that the abortion pill resulted in improvements in symptoms for psychotic depression, which can include not only feelings of hopelessness and sadness, but hallucinations and delusions.
"Some psychotically depressed patients are dramatically better within a few days," says Alan Schatzberg, MD, chair of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford. They stop hearing voices and having pessimistic kinds of delusions, like they're dying or the world is ending. We've seen the response within a four day study. This is fairly dramatic."
Read more.....

Happy Independance Day?

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies
In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776


Were you aware that on September 11,2001, 3 buildings fell in New York. They were all demolished with explosives detonated inside the buildings. Can you say cover up? Here is picture perfect proof. .
This is video of the third building being demolished

Who really has the weapons of mass destruction???
I pray for our troops safe return everyday. I pray that this madness will be over!!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I really want to be more personal in my posts, but it's hard talking about myself, especially if family is reading my blog. Maybe I should just do a blog with an anonymous name. I have been reading a lot of blogs on being bipolar. I would rather use the old day term, manic depression, because the manic part is what really stands out. Some people don't want to admit to their doctors that they are manic (well, I had a hard time telling my doctor about the manic episodes) because the highs felt soooo good. The problem came when the high turned into a low low low. I would be talking a mile a minute, making all kinds of plans, cleaning the house like a mad woman, and that was the time when I would really drink heavily and sometimes drug. What a rush. Then the next day I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. Depressed as hell!! I have tried several drugs for the manic side of me. Let's see, I was on Risperdal twice. Each time I gained so much weight (30 pounds in one month) that I stayed depressed. Had to let that one go. Before that I tried Abilify, and that just put me in a daze for the two months I was on it. I started going to be hella early, 7 or 8 p.m. And then I would sleep until well after noon. What kind of life is that. When I told my doc he said that drug usually had an opposite effect on his other clients. It also gave me tremors, which sometimes felt like I had a tick. Well, I kind of gave up on my search for the right drug right. But I need to get back on track with that. I started having problems again. Mood swings and shit. One minute happy, next minute sad, next minute ready to scream!!! Any ideas on the right drug?

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Normally I would NEVER post something like this, but this was just all too true.

What You Now Need To Believe To Be A Republican:

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and
Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with
him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense,
but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die
is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their
friends and blaming the friends for looking too much like quail.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

posted by KansasSunflower at 2:14 PM
bipolar.and.me: Too True Not to Post:

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Adding music to my blog.

Today I am learning how to add music to my blog. So bear with me. I want some of the latest shit, so I need to surf around and find some. I don't know if you can listen to it without quicktime installed. Let me know Ok. Quicktime is a big program! If you don't already have Quicktime on your machines download it. Several megabytes is a lot to ask users to download, however doing so gives you a lot of capability. If you have any questions or complaints about the download hassle, write your congressman. Here is a cool site to find >music and to find audio and video players. I guess if I am going to use some of Bill Brown's music I should send a shout out.
I'm learning from the "Creating Web Pages for Dummies" book. When my son saw the book I was reading he looks at me and say "What are you a dummy" Very funny. sometimes I feel like a dummy when it comes to computers.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

"Breasts of an 18 year-old

A woman was at home, happily jumping up and down on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watched her for a while and then asked, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'

The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, 'I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.'

The husband said, 'What did he say about your 55 year old ass?'

'Your name never came up,' she replied.


THE 4400!!!WOOHOO!!

A 4400 marathion on USA today. The coolest show on TV today. If you beleive in UFO's this is the show for you. I believe that there has to be someone out there more inteligent than us, and they are coming down to tell us how bad we are f@cking up the planet! Check this sight out...
UFO DIGEST provides photographic (photo) proof of UFOs from around the world.

Update: I just found out the people on the show were never kidnapped by aliens. They were abducted by people from the future and sent back with special powers to save the world from extinction....OOOHHHH Awesome show!!!!
This classy sci-fi hit revolves around the sudden reappearance of 4400 missing people. All were presumed dead or reported missing over several decades, and many return to their former lives on Earth---but with startling powers. Among those assigned to unravel their mystery is an earnest crime investigator whose nephew is one of the returned. The cable drama, originally slated to run only as a five-part miniseries, garnered big ratings for USA and was added to its regular roster.

USA Network | The 4400


Electric Fence....

Read story first!!!

An Australian sheep farmer was puzzled

at the disappearance of sheep on his farm.

After a few weeks of sheep disappearing

the farmer decided to put up an electric

fence.

This is what he found;




This story was emailed to me by my good friend QW. He will be joining my blog as a member as soon as I can figure out how to do it. How in the hell do I add his profile? i'll figure it out today, hopefully. I have no one here to distract me today. Happy dance, I have the house to myself. Now where did I hide my inspiration??
hi
from Quentin

Saturday, May 27, 2006

This is one of Johnny's favorite sites. What a little weirdo.
Nero: Infiltration - stick page
I just started reading this book "After the Rice" By:Wendy French and it is laugh out loud funny. In the first chapter the lead character (Megan) is scared to death that she might be p.g.(pregnant.) Although she is recently married a baby just isn't what she and husband (Matt) wanted. She says something that really made me laugh out loud. "We didn't want to lose more sleep than we could afford, change more diapers than we cared to imagine, or deal with time-outs, groundings, allergies, sleepovers, report cards especially the bad ones.)soccer games, cookie sales, camp outs, chicken pox, smoking, drinking, driving, dating, sex, and the task of teaching some poor little soul everything they needed to know about how to survive in a world that was changing every day, and not necessarily for the better!
Remember when you were a kid and did something bad, that stuipid saying your Mom would always throw at you when she punished you. "Just wait until you have kids!" I would always respond, "I'm never having kids."
I mean I love my Johnny and all but as he gets older , he's 12 now,it gets harder to deal with him, I thought I had a bad attitude, this kid takes the cake. I wish I had that paragraph to read over and over again before making the decision to have a child. He's almost 13 so I will soon have to worry about the smoking, drugging, sexing aspect of being a teenager. Or is that really what the majority of teenagers are doing these days. I sometimes think that's just what the media wants us to think. All we hear about anymore is the negative side of reaching maturity. There are plenty of good kids out there, aren't there? How do I find that hope in the future of the next generation of teenagers?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Driver Has 18 Times Legal Alcohol Limit

VILNIUS, Lithuania - Lithuanian police were so astonished when they pulled over a truck driver and his breathalyzer test registered 18 times the legal alcohol limit, they thought their testing device must be broken.

It wasn't.
Read more.......
Driver Has 18 Times Legal Alcohol Limit - Yahoo! News

That dude must have had the worst hang over in the world. I remember the days when I would be praying to God, "I'll never drink again if you just let me live. Please make the bed stop spinning!" Tell me some of your worst hang over nightmares in the comment section. I need someone to talk to.....Too desperate?Maybe not, maybe so. Who cares.
Take the time to read this - it may change the way you view life!
Five (5) lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.


1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz.
I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions
until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman
several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I
know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before
class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward
our quiz grade
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many
people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even
if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was
Dorothy.



2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was
standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing
rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking
wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped
to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a
taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and
thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his
surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special
note was attached..

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night.
The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you
came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's
bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and
unselfishly serving others"

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.



3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old
boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a
glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the
coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was
growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and
walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and
five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough
left to leave her a tip.
>


4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he
hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply
walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads
clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon
approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move
the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he
finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables,
he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The
purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that
the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.
The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.



5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got
to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious
disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion
from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same
disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The
doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the
little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath
and saying, "Yes I'll do it if ! it will save her." As the transfusion
progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,
seeing the color returning to her cheek Then his face grew pale and his
smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will
I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he
thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to
save her.


My sister in-law(Tracey)sent me this story in an e-mail this morning. It brought tears to my eyes and really made me think. Thank you Tracey!!
If you're not serving God, you're are serving the Devil!

The way we live, the things we say, the attitudes we entertain, the lifestyle we adopt, the enterprises in which we engage are all continously producing either positive or negative results in society. Far too many people assume they can adopt a neutral stance. The feel they can be noncommital. They try to remain detached, uninvolved with the trauma, turmoil and tension of their times.
Again and again Jesus pointed out that this was impossible. "Either you are for me, or against me," He said. "You cannot serve two masters at once. Either you hate one and love the other or vice-versa.
We live in an atmosphere of antagonism, an environment of enmity. Yet amid such adversity Christ calls us to produce peace.
This peace is love quietly, strongly, persistently meeting every onslaught against it with good will. It is that inner attitude of tranquility and tolerance in the face of angry attacks. It is that willingness to accept the assaults of others even at the price of personal humiliation. It implies that even though my enemies and detractors may be at war with me, I can be at peace with them.
From: Max Lucado's Inspirational Study Bible:Life Lesson P.1392

I'm not trying to preach to anyone. This is something I struggle with daily, especially when it come to my son. I try to keep a peaceful attitude with him, but when he doesn't want to listen and he keeps talking back when I tell him to do something, I tent to blow up and lose it! Oh, how badly I just want snap, crackle, and pop him upside his head. But, I can't do that, I don't feel like going to jail today. So I become quiet and he gets over his self and after a while he does what I ask him to do. Finally he got out the vacuum cleaner. He wants to go outside and play basketball.

Friday, May 12, 2006

THE BEST BOOK CLUB IN THE WORLD!!
Do you have any used paperback books laying around? I did, and I finally found a great way to share them with other people. I have mailed off 9 books and received 12 and I have been a member for only 2 months! There are 485,400+ books to choose from, and that number grows daily. It's like having a whole library at your mail box.


It seems that a few guys were sitting around one night talking about all the paperback books that they purchased over the years when they traveled on business. Each of them had a stack of books that they had read. So they decided to set up a web site http://www.PaperBackSwap.com/ that allows all of us to swap paperback books with each other.


Let me tell you how it works because it is so easy. I listed a bunch of books on the site (you have to list at least 9 books to get in the club) and I got 3 free book credits to get me started. So you can order 3 books right away - free of charge and have them mailed directly to you. No strings attached. No gimmicks. No spam mail. Nothing! You just have to love reading books.


Then when another member selects one of my books that I have listed, I mail it to them. Yes, I pay for the postage($1.59 for paperbacks, about $1.00 more for hardbacks). But then I get a book credit and I can select a book that I want. So another Club Member returns the favor and mails me one of their books free of charge. For every book I mail out, I get another book in return - a true shared system!


And when someone requests one of your books, all you have to do is print a single piece of regular paper from your printer which includes the mailing address and the amount of postage. Then drop it in the outbound mail. Hey, you don't even need to go to the post office!


Right now the annual club membership is FREE! Eventually the founders will ask everyone to help contribute to pay for the upkeep of the web site, but for now the annual club membership is free. The annual dues will probably be between $10 and $20 based on the number of people in the club. But again, right now you don't even have to pay any dues for one year if you become a Charter Member.


You really need to check this out! And if you do sign up, please list my email in the referral section because then I get another free book. This is a great club http://www.PaperBackSwap.com/


Best Regards,
Cozynblue Email address cozynblue@yahoo.com

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Virus Hoaxes
There are a lot of viruses out there. But some aren't really out there at all. Virus hoaxes are more than mere annoyances, as they may lead some users to routinely ignore all virus warning messages, leaving them vulnerable to a genuine, destructive virus.
Next time you receive an urgent virus warning message, be sure to check the list of known virus hoaxes below. Go to:http://vil.mcafee.com/hoax.asp
Remember: Never open an email attachment unless you know what it is--even if it's from someone you know and trust.
Remember that virus writers can use known hoaxes to their advantage. For example, AOL4FREE began as a hoax virus warning. Then somebody distributed a destructive trojan attached to the original hoax virus warning! The lessons are clear:
Always remain vigilant
Never open a suspicious attachment
From: McFee.com

I have had my computer crash several times because of viruses, just not updating my virus protection regularly is what got me into trouble. What a pain in the ass these hackers can be. I had thought about becoming a hacker at one time but then I saw the jail sentence handed down to Jeanson James Ancheta,20 years old, was sentenced to 57 months(that's 41/2 years,ouch!)in prison for hijacking more than 400,000 PCs over the internet, using them to build a botnet, then renting out the system to spyware distributors, hackers, and spammers. U.S. District Attorney Debra Wong Yang'soffice says it's the longest sentence ever for someone convicted of spreading a computer virus. U.S. District Judge Gary Klausner ordered Ancheta to give up $60,000 in cash, a late-model BMW, and computer equipment he bought with proceeds from the sceme. That was enough to scare me straight! I can use my computer skills for something that doesn't cause destruction!!!

Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished,
But he who gathers by labor will increase.
Poverbs 13:11
To catch a hacker story.
Serious Virus Warning from McAfee!!

Get this sent around to your contacts ASAP...we don't need this spreading around..... PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS: You should be alert during the next couple of days: Do not open any message with an attached file called "Invitation" regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which "burns" the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someonewho has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a email called "invitation", though sent by a friend,do not open it. Shut down your computer immediately!! This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.
I just got this email from my sister in-law this morning. I will be checking CNN to make sure it is legit. I'll be back to let you know.

Monday, May 08, 2006

It has been quite some time since I have posted on my blog. I promise myself I well start posting everyday. I have really been into watching other people's blogs. one of my favs is Huff's crime blog. http://www.huffcrimeblog.com/ (How did I get this thing to write in italics and how do I turn it off. I have been trying to figure out how to turn this on and I hit a freaken butten or two and there it is. Now how to turn it off!) This has to be short because I have an appointment with my head doctor today. What's good is I have no problems to talk with him about. I'm not saying I am healed, but life has been a lot less chaotic since I quit drinking, smoking, and tripping. Well I am not completely off the sauce, but I am doing a whole lot better!