Joke: Pick Up Lines

Bond. James Bond.
Off. Piss off.

Hello.
Goodbye.

Queuing is so boring, don't you find?
It is now.

Shall we go and see a film next week?
I've seen it.

Why not be original and say yes?
No.

You're irresistible.
You're resistible.

What's it like being the most attractive person here?
You'll never know.

Would you like to come back to my place for a bacardi and grope?
No, just a gin and platonic, thanks.

Very difficult getting served here. What are you having in case I get served first?
An attack of nausea.

Do you kiss with your eyes closed?
I would if I were kissing you.

Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day.
Yes - I was looking for a brain cell.

I think I could make you very happy.
Why, are you leaving?

I'd go through anything for you.
Great, the exit's just over there.

Hey baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter.

Are you free tomorrow night?
No, but I'm on special offer the day after.

Can I buy you a drink?
I would think so - why don't you ask the barman?

Can I buy you a drink?
I'd rather just have the cash.

Where have you been all my life?
What do you mean - I wasn't even born for the first half of it.

Can you give me your name, please?
I don't think 'Melissa' would suit you.

Cheer up darling, it may never happen.
It just has.

Do you mind if I smoke?
I don't care if you burn.

I'm sure I've noticed you before.
I'm not sure I've even noticed you yet.

Kiss me and I'll tell you a secret.
I know your secret - I work at the clinic.

May I introduce myself?
Certainly - try those people over there.

Shall we go all the way?
Yes, as long as it's in different directions.

When can we be alone?
We'll be alone when we're not with each other. Hopefully that'll be soon.

Will you come out with me on Saturday?
Sorry, I'm having a headache at the weekend.

Women say I have the gift of the gab.
I suggest you wrap it up, then.

Would you like another drink?
Do you really think our relationship will last that long?